Reframing Our Inner Despair
http://beyondanydoubts.com/2019/11/21/reframing-our-inner-despair/ Reframing our inner despair
Sometimes we have an experience early in life that stays with us as a source of pain for many years, or even all our lives. It feels hot, constricted, and alive. What is it?
Part of our life force became associated – trapped – in a memory that is in our brain, in our limbic system , along with a set of interpretations that we have developed as beliefs. Our life force attached to these beliefs early in life, even perhaps before we were two years old. What is causing it to feel alive is that the life force, our life force which is an emanation of Hashem, is involved and therefore it feels like it is something happening to us over and over again. It feels alive because it is part of the force that Hashem gives to us for our life time, Shechina in exile within our mortality, our life force.
What if we reframe this a little?
Hashem designs our body and our brain. He orchestrates the circumstances. He gives us life force.
He has agreed to be concealed within this matter totally.
It is His Life Force He allocates to a garment of a body that He creates, the being that we are.
It is memories and subconscious messages that He alone agrees to be concealed within, enlivened with a part of the pure life force that is our unique soul.
The body He sustains is flowing more life force into those memories each time we think the subconscious messages again or act upon them or entertain the emotions involved. This natural process of association that attached our garments to experience the pain originally actually claims more of our life force when triggered by our limbic system and towards which we turn, experiencing the emotions or acting out the messages.
These form an “opposing” force to the true reality that Hashem is doing everything and that He loves us.
Towards which shall we be attracted, towards which shall we attach in the moment and how do we detach from the negative messages and turn towards the truth?We are garments He sustains, garments to which He gives real free will and speech, and we love Him. The part of our life force animating the pain and the part of our life force that is wholly connected to Him are one unbroken chain with “an illusion” appearing. That real feeling illusion is that the garment, our physical being, is in pain and that we have to do something to alleviate the pain in the world of time and space. Yes, we are truly alive. And yes, we are mortal and the pain is felt. However, there is a reframe available for healing.
Here is where Torah and the increase in executive functioning of our intellect can help. When we build into our intellect the awareness that Hashem loves us and is doing everything, we have the awe in the design of the world to activate our real free will to turn towards Hashem’s love with courage and trust in Him and choose to go above the natural way this feels .
Hold the paradox of the painful message along side this expanded understanding.
Shower compassion upon the Shechina in exile, have compassion upon the Shechina in exile that is following the laws of nature and enlivening this painful message.
Hashem agreed to conceal Himself through the life force He is giving to us. It is His Pain. We feel like it is our finger in the fire, hot, constricted and alive. But it is the life force that has agreed to be in this memory all these years because Hashem knows He created the knesset yisrael that is capable of flowing this life force in this message back to Him and He is giving this garment the opportunity in this moment of time to be the channel that flows His Compassion from this prison of a painful memory into a mitzvah that brings compassion into the world.
It feels real to me because it is part of the life force He gives to me. The life force I have is in this constricted painful memory trauma or experience and it feels like me. When we realize He is doing everything and loves us and He is giving us life force and a body and circumstances, we come to realize all of this is given to us so that we may exercise real free will and do mitzvahs.
Because the life force He gives me is Shechina in exile, really this is the pain of the Shechina that He intentionally is concealed within for the purpose of giving me life and the opportunity to be like Hashem, compassionate, and to be granted the pleasure of flowing Shechina from this constricted dark inner world as revealed compassion in the visible world.
Hashem creates the soul to draw this life force, these sparks, back to Him.
What is in the way of the flow is the interpretation our natural thinking devises. We come to believe that it has to do with this garment that is the visible being of me, something to do with me as if I were here on my own, independent of Hashem.
With real free will, and with Torah and trust in Hashem and in the soul He designs, we can make a simple clear statement of will. I don’t want to experience the Shechina as pain in this message. I don’t want to feel the garment as if it is independent. I want instead to be a channel You have given this life force to in order for this life force to be released from where it is concealed so as to flow back to You and into the world as mitzvahs.
It is a choice. We can do that. We have real free will and speech. I will to flow this to You from awe and love.
Please Hashem may all of my life force be attached only to You. May this reservoir of life force contained in these memories triggered by the limbic system and my subconscious flow from the pain into this mitzvah of….
With this intention, using real free will and speech, we shower compassion upon Hashem thereby emulating Him. Doing so opens the way for Hashem to flow from where He otherwise agrees to be concealed by nature.
Instead of hating in our hearts, we realize He is doing everyting and we give the benefit of the doubt, we have ahavas Yisrael and we restore innocence to our hearts, which is healing.
The simcha that results speaks for itself. And the bond in our limbic system begins to soften, giving us more and more free will at that point, to repeat this process until we no longer are triggered or experience the pain from early attachments of our life force to false beliefs. Our life force attaches to Hashem instead, to truth, to compassion, to Torah, avoda, and mitzvahs with a feeling of joy through the expanded understanding we experientially have gained of Hashem as doing everything and loving us. Hashem Echad!!
May this reframe help anyone who is seeking to be a channel and to choose to comprehend that everything is You and that You love us and to let go of feeling ourselves with the understanding that You have envisioned for us a far loftier role than experiencing the shechina concealed in this world as pain.
May we have confidence in each Torah principle here and may our effort to do this bring a new light into the world, and may we be the channel that He has envisioned for the nefesh elokis to be and may we be zocheh to Moshiach.