BINA
Tomer Devorah / Teshuva from Love
In the zchut of the Refua Sheleima of Maayan Bat Devorah Hadassah
Adapted from a Rosh Chodesh Nissan 5780 Meditation by Rav Doniel Katz
Teshuva From Love
A Rosh Chodesh Nissan 5780 Meditation
Take 3 deep breaths...
Visualize your Keter / crown
Visualize your self
Standing in front of Hashem
Aligning with His ratzon
Feel the divine light flowing down from Above
Surrounding your Keter
Flowing to your brain
to your heart
and permeating through your veins
to the depths of your bones
It is Rosh Chodesh Nissan...
a new month
a month of miracles / nissim
Let us individually
and collectively
do “teshuva with love”
Release the old script
the old story and patterns
as new energy is coming in;
Be open
and receptive
to this energy
feel yourself expanding
beyond your self
slowly…
patiently
visualize it
yearn for it
with patience / savlanut
and humility / anava
Set your intention / kavana
when I feel the seething fire of
fear / anxiety / negativity
Please
Let me recognize it right away
as a message from You
So I will connect
in Daas
I want to feel this
in my bones
we can rise above our nature
Kochos mimala min hateva
Breath out
guilt
shame
anger
which are not
true expressions
of your inner self
your truth
release everything now
so we can be keilim / vessels
so we can draw down miracles
for our own lives
for our family
for Klal Yisrael
and the world
Connect to Chava
the creative reproductive force
Chava חוה
the gematria of 19
Covid 19
We are recreating
our self
and the world
in this process
during this very intimate time in my life
feel yourself as being
in the the yichud room
with H’;
Embody the glow of simcha
Feel the gift now
Feel the loving connection
Feel the transformation
as the klippas melt way
choose to be open to the process
As the world
needs miracles
Right NOW
(Continued)
Based on shiur (below) by Rabbi Yirmiyahu Ullman
I am preparing to do
Teshuva m’Ahava / Teshuva from Love
as a mindful re-creation process
I am connecting to Bina
which is reception with humility
I am gestating that power there
in order to to give birth
to Daas.
I am doing Teshuva m’Ahava with humility
connecting to the higher level of Bina
I am going to the source of creation
I am refining and
rebirthing my self
With the help of Hashem
Emulating H’ in this act of creation
as I am empowered to bring
a NEW REALITY into existence
I am not only fixing but
I am UNDOING
I am emptying the space / bitul
and filling it
WITH A NEW CREATION
As I feel these familiar seething waters
THE RIVER OF FIRE
I am returning them
From their destructive course
back to You, their Source
in Bina
receiving
receptive (from chochma)
productive
positive
I am causing
The sparks
to be brought back to their source
To You
The teshuva / shov / return
I was created
to do this sweetening
Help me Ratzo / run to you
to connect with simcha
The upper waters
will put out this fire
that is burning within me;
I can do this with Your help.
As I feel the blood rising within me
The lower waters
I climb the ladder of hishtalshalut
And shav / return
to the meeting point…
The upper water puts out the fire
my blood stops boiling
my heart rate slows
with the space to
feel the the Shechina within
* * *
I am created to do this
may it by an aliya to
* my story
* my generational story / my parents / grandparents / etc.
* the collective neshama of Klal Yisrael
* And the world
Right Now
The union of
Chochma / Rachamim & Humility
+
Bina / Teshuva
= Daas
As I am doing Teshuva from Love
connecting to Bina,
I am mamtik / sweetening the dinim.
In this moment
As You hold my hand
It is only You
I am flipping my story
back to its source in Bina
I focus on
wanting to become close to You, H’
In Daas / dveikus
that I have banished my loved one, You Hashem
The pain is causing You anguish
may these dinim become the source of
I am departing from the dinim from gevura
And going into the dinim in BINA
WHICH ARE ABOVE THIS WORLD
I'm BEING REPRODUCTIVE with the help of H'
bringing forth true transformation.
May the result of tshuva m'ahava be
that my aveirot will be transformed to zechuyot
because they are the result of this loving relationship between me and my Father
The loving relationship
gestates
from my mind
to my heart
to my bones
the bone of my very creation
I see H’s part in it
H’ is yearning for this love relationship
We are created to emulate H’s love for us
This loving relationship founded in tshuva m'ahava
will radiate in our marriage
Our Children
The world
L Shem Shamayim
Tshuva from love
He is reaching out to us
His creation
Bina is the creative mother sefira
I am receiving from chochma in order to create
So without humility/chochma
bina will not receive
and create
teshuva is all encompassing
I have brought myself out of balance with H’s ratzon
out of spiritual mental slavery
Galut
I am now restored back to spiritual equilibrium
A new creation
Teshuva from love
Not only are my aveiros forgiven,
they become zechuyot.
sources of merit.
Like mitzvos.
teshuva is all encompassing
I am in equilibrium
Hishtavus:
Shiviti
Hashem
Lnegdi
Tamid
Rabbi Yirmiyahu Ullman
The sefirot is a spiritual prism:
of pure divine light
divided into component parts
a façade of a multiple sided creation
Tzimtzum
Reduces the unity of the light
which appears to be a multiplicity
in to one White light,
divine energy refracted and separated,
projected in multiple parts
called creation
Bina is Left, Feminine
It receives creative energy from chochma: supernal transcendental energy of the light which is from Keter
And transferred to bina/ bone / builds upon the seminal spark of creative energy from chochma
Just a a female receives a seminal spot gestates it, builds it and gives birth to it, resulting in the fusion/ union of a child= Daas.
Bina is important because its connected to tshuva. Though teshuva a person can connect to the Bone.
Gevorah is under Bina
Emulate the quality of the sefira of bina by Teshuva
Bina=Teshuva
There is nothing more important than tshuva
Teshuva corrects all things which have been wronged
In the physical world, once something is broken, its broken
Tshuva when done properly – has the power to recreate
And bring it back to the original state
And even eradicate the memory of the wrong
Harness the energy of the memory to fuel the teshuva
So the result is a paradox
The transgression brings about a proliferation of recreation
Every time you think about the misdeed
You do tshuva to recreate
The actual aveira becomes a merit for a person
Proper teshuva
As long as you harness the memory properly
You can use it to fuel more and more tshuva
DO TESHUVA FROM LOVE
RATHER THAN TESHUVA FROM FEAR.
Counter intuitive: it’s a repair. Never as good as original
Teshuva as recreate.
That’s the basis of the connection of teshuva and bina
because BINA GETS ITS POWER FROM CHOCHMA
and it gestates that power in order to
to give birth to daas, etc. and the other sefios
when you are doing teshuva properly
you are connecting to the higher level of bina
you are actually going to the source of creation
you are causing a rebirth
you are causing a NEW REALITY TO BE CREATED
BIRTHED into existence
Its not about fixing
Its about UNDOING
AND REPLACING IT WITH A NEW CREATION
It repairs all deficiency /pagam
Not just something that’s been made array
But actually recreating it.
Just like it is the position of BINA TO MATEK: to make sweet
To cure.
All of the dinim and to nullify their bitterness
So a person should do teshuva and in this way he will be able to repair the pigam
Referring to bina the potential for din, which is expressed in gevura
Din within bina: something which is not bitter at all
Expressed that way in gevura
But in bina that’s not the case
Ex. Someone does something wrong and gets punished.
on one level the punishment is bad, but it causes him to repent and not do it again
The din is good because it is curing the bitterness…
Ie Paros enslavement, all the makkos took place in din
Nothing happens without Hashem sanctioning it.
So if we see things that seem to be negative, associated with free will, which he is bound to make a mistake,
but it is coming from H’
H’ is using the façade of creation, the façade of free will to execute HIS WILL.
H’s that the Jewish people will be His people. Paro forfeited his free will.
Ex. Haman. All of the dinim going on to reveal H’s chesed
Theres a bina which is going on. Not really negative in their source.
May appear to be negative. Its all good to reveal the divine presence in the world
All the dinim in binah are sweet.
So too a person should use the power of tshuva to connect to bina, so the dinim will return to their source and be positive, not negative.
Same thing with teshuva. A person who is contemplating and resonating with teshuva all his days
He is actually causing the sefira of binah to illuminate all his days
The result is all HIS DAYS WILL BE DAYS OF TESHUVA
That’s enveloping himself in BINA, which is teshuva
The very powerful, productive, creative aspect of the world through teshuva
So that his days will be CROWNED WITH THE SECRET OF UPPER TESHUVA
Which is BINA
Pirkei avos: a person should do teshuva on day before he dies, can rectify everything,
A person doesn’t know when hes going to die. He does teshuva every day.
He is connecting to the sefira of bina
Correcting the world, not just misperfections,
He is in the process of recreating a broken and tainted world
Teshuva M’Yira vs. Teshuva M’Ahava
Teshuva myirah. His transgressions are forgivenTeshuva from love (15:28) The fear of doing something wrong because of suffering, thinking about he severing of the love of G-d.
Causing H’ to be removed from his life.
Teshuva m ‘ahava. Not only are the aveiros forgiven, they become zechuyot.
Become sources of merit. Like mitzvos.
How does teshuva from ahava work?
When he does teshuva from ahava, connecting to the sefira of bina, he is connecting to the dinim of binah and manifested in gevura
He is MAMTIK sweetening the dinim.
He is using the idea of suffering that may come about because of this transgression
And reverting them back to their source in bina
To say Im not concerned about my personal suffering and pain that result from my transgressions
But im concerned about the fact that I have banished my loved one, G-d
The pain is causing him anguish about banishing G-d from the world
These dinim become the source of wanting to become close to H.
Ie. Tragedies. Break downs, creates a furtile ground to spurt.
If that gives me the impulse to want to restore, then im departing from the dinim from gevura
And actually going into the dinim in BINA WHICH ARE ABOVE THIS WORLD
THEY ARE REPRODUCTIVE which will bring forth transformation, the result will be that they well be zechuyos because they are the result of this loving relationship.
Teshuva myera is connected to gevura; forgiven
Only teshuva m’ahava, can he reach Bina
Only teshuva mahava, can he reach bina where he is getting to the source of the dinim
Sweetening from the source
Turning the aveiros to zchuyos.
Just like in teshuva you have the root to all which exists / all creation
Because teshuva is connected to bina
And bina is the creative mother sefira
Which receives from chochma in order to create
This is connected to the mystery of yovel
7 years and each 7 years is shmitta.
2 in a row 49 and 50
yovel sold into slavery is set free. This idea of teshuva and bina, restoration
yovel represents the balance of the divine will
a person who transgressed, brought himself out of balance with divine will
put himself into spiritual mental slavery, he is being exiled, the yovel restores him back to spiritual balance
through avaira, he may disqualify himself from blessing
yovel about returning to his home, to the LAND, freedom, to the abode of G-d
yovel=bet lamed – balul mixed up, novel: withered; comes to restore confusion or atrophy
and brings them back to balance
The River of Dinur, the river of fire
the source for chitzonim/ negative energy that exists is connected to the river of dinur
the river of fire; formulated by the sweat of the angels who serve H’ with great ferver
every person has to go through before gan eden. A purification. The righteous people experience it as a feeling of a nice hot bath, but the rashoyim suffer greatly.
Which is included in the side of holiness in the mystery of gevuros
Re: the relationship to bina and gevora
Bina has potential for dinim, but they are sweetened
But expressed in gevura they can become harsh and difficult
So this RIVER OF FIRE actually comes from the gevuros, which are expressed in gevura
But have their source in BINA
That’s their root from which they emanate
When these dinim which have their potential in bina and are expressed and perceived as negative through gevura, they proliferate in a way that’s perceived as haron af: anger.
And this is connected to the mystery that G-d smelled the sweet smell.
Noach after the flood (dinim) the smell was pleasing before G-d.
He is not pleased by the smell of the flame. This korban was a quintessential act of teshuva.
Free will resulted in destruction
The re- inauguration of the world/ pressing the worlds restart button
When a person, through teshuva, brings about a restoration of himself, individually, which will effect the teshuva for the world, it is mitigating those judgements, which brought about punishment,
Bringing them BACK TO THEIR SOURCE.
Turning these SEETHING WATERS OF THE RIVER OF FIRE
From their destructive course back to their source in bina which is productive and positive.
Doing teshuva he is causing the proliferation of the FLAMES OF THE RIVER OF FIRE
TO BE BROUGHT BACK TO THEIR SOURCE and the result is to negate, sweeten , mollify them,
And as a result, the anger will reside, and H’ will retract from acting in a way which will be perceived by the world as evil.
TESHUVA IS SO POWERFUL – IT DOES THIS
Through bina you have din, free will
That can be expressed through the midda of gevurah in a powerfully negative way
Comparable to this river of fire,
Causing rivulets to flow into the world
Teshuva causes the rivulets to stop
and holds them at bay
And returns them to the source
And goes back to the mother, for them to be expressed in a positive way to give
Rebirth to the individual and to the world
So too a person through the mystery of the power of teshuva, he effects this dynamic
So that a person shouldn’t say that teshuva only benefits the good part of the person, that didn’t transgress / or his neshama as opposed to his body
Teshuva corrects even the part that is bad within him
Meaning teshuva is all encompassing and brings a person to equilibrium in all sense. Not just his soul
You should know that Kayin was evil and was from the nachash.
The nachash enticed chava to rebel against H’
The fruit of the eitz tov vrah was supposed to be their Shabbos meal. The fruit of the etz hachayim would have been the dessert.
The nachash injected within her impurity. The seminal idea of rebellion. So that impurity that
Was integrated in chava, kayin came from the nachash. He was given the opportunity to do teshuva
If you will improve yourself you will be elevated and enlightened.
H’ meant to say don’t think that because you originated from the side of raa. If you will set yourself on the right path, and do teshuva, and plant yourself in the fertile ground of teshuva, you will be removed from the side of evil, because of teshuva you will reconnect to the side of good
Anything which is bitter from high (gevura) its shoresh is sweet.
And therefore by a person tapping into the source he can perfect himself. Therefore the actions themselves, negative, they ultimately bring a person to good, and in this way
The transgressions fuel the teshuva when he’s doing it for H’, they become the source of zechuyot
These actions, they were speaking evilly of this person from the left side, were acting in an accusatory way, so he is uprooting their bad deeds and putting them into the source of goodness on High.
The result is that these transgressions are not nullified (in the case of a person who does teshuva from yira)they continue to EXIST, BUT THEY DON’T EXIST AGAINST HIM THEY SPEAK FOR HIM on his behalf
They become corrected and purified and rooted in the side of HOLINESS which was like the promise
Given to Kayin if he had done teshuva.
To remain in existence to strengthen him. And if kayin had done teshuva and perfected himself in this way
Then the transgression of Adam haRishon, through which he gave birth to kayin. Kayin came into existence not only from the nachash, but that adam through the avaira also imparted sin into his son.
The proper teshuva, he would have restored the avaira from his father and rectified the chet of Adam as well
Kayin became a nest which dwelled impurity.
He would have changed all of that, a mitzvah, a son can give merit to his father. If a person does a good deed here, he can give merit to his father.
He could have metakened his fathers avaira and restored the whole world.
He didn’t want to do this. And the result of that, all the left side came from there. The dinim in the world
from the river of Dinur
from the cheit of adam, and perpetuated through kayin
however not all is lost, since the world was created through chochma and bina, we have the potential to rectify and rejuvenate the world, and this would be for.. a person who does something evil and does teshuva and restores the evil to the side of good, he actually sweetens it and brings it back to bina.
A person has the power to rectify the yetzer hara itself and bring it to the good. And that will cause it to be rooted in the side of holiness from above.
The Yetzer Hara is a TAVLIN
HKB”H says I created the torah and I created the yetzer hara as a TAVLIN a spice for the yetzer hara.
Its not about uprooting the yetzer hara! Its about metavilin: giving it a good taste;
Bringing up the bad blood, spicing it up, curing it.
Nachash is the same gematria as MOSHIACH
Nachash, נחש - nun ches shin - is the same gematria as MOSHIACH.They SEEM to be polar opposites. By harnessing the power of the nachash we can bring about the Moshiach
The energy of the coiled snake within can be used to bring about the energy of the moshiach.