Alchemizing & Integrating

BY LIBA MARKSON 9-20

I'm feeling some holy anger right now.

After meeting with another brilliant, talented, sensitive woman who's been playing small in exchange for the illusion of safety and security.

Denying herself visibility for acceptance and approval from her community, her friends, and the world she lives in because sharing her genius has felt much too risky.

Concluding that she must learn more, train more, heal more, and BE more before bringing her well-honed, tried and tested healing to the world.

Believing that the price for being her True Self was much too high.

So she agreed to a job, an apartment, and a life that was so many sizes too small that pain and collapse racked her body until all she could do was cry from the constriction she felt everywhere she turned.

Like a fetus who was unaware she had outgrown the cozy womb that had nourished and protected her for so long, she adjusted her size to limited space, air, and possibility to stay alive.

She did not know that it was time to be Birthed. Into the Unseen Unknown.

To be fair, she had once lived a full life in an unholy world.

She had given her gifts and found true love, but had excluded her soul.

Until she was pulled from the lineup of humanity and sent to her soul altering destiny of twists and turns and wringings out.

Where she learned to finally be still, connect to her spiritual roots, and transform her gifts into holy offerings.

Offerings that were so unique, unfamiliar, revolutionary, and disruptive that they were rejected by the holy Tribe.

Who she thought must know so much more than she did.

She was wrong.

But she did the only thing she knew.

And that was to fold herself into a tiny dot.

Shrink into complete diminishment.

And become an eternal student who would seek another credential, another teacher’s approval, another step toward the Tribe whose love and acceptance she treasured and was willing to do anything for.

Even die for.

However.

What she did not know was that she was here to disrupt the Tribal consciousness and bring light where they had grown accustomed to darkness.

To weave a deeper Truth into tradition.

To create reverberations of knowing and awakening among those who were stretching from their slumber into wakefulness.

Her gifts are a portent of what awaits us at the edge of life as we know it before we step into the abyss of the life we desire.

She came to accompany us to that edge and step with us into the chasm of the unknown, the utter new that is old, the higher, the greater, the broader, the expanded.

Into Creation returning home.

Does this sound like someone you know?

Someone who has dimmed her light for fear of loss of…...belonging, love, acceptance, support, worth, value, etc.

Even, possibly, like you?

You did not come here to play small by swallowing your soul, choking on the sheer amount of self you must bite off, and suffocating from the size of the pieces you must chew to finish the job.

The world needs all of you.

All. Of. You.

But no one will tell you this (except a few of us.)

And you will not believe them if they do.

Because evidence proves the contrary.

And that is your challenge. To look beyond the evidence and listen to your soul that is demanding to awaken.

That craves the utter new that is so old it has been forgotten.

And therefore needs you to revive the ancient one that is your soul.

This dear woman started our session today in tears of worthlessness.

And ended in tears of expansion and possibility.

It is a narrow bridge between the two that requires a complete shift in identity to traverse.

The path to reclaim her voice, her power, her gifts, her genius, and her soulmate is one of conviction and dedication.

NO MATTER WHAT.

She has decided.

Because no one is coming to rescue her.

The price is NOT too high.

The resources are there.

No one and nothing will stop her now.

And Hashem (her Higher Power) WANTS this of her.

He has already ensured her success.

Everything else is a distraction to be alchemized into pure gold energy. To integrate into her mission.

Which she will do.

And my dear beautiful woman.

So can you!