3Weeks Class 2 of 3 7/22 Transforming Sinas Chinam to Ahavas Chinam - Rabbi Labinsky
Rabbi Labinski July 22, 2019
19 Tammuz
3 WEEKS / CLASS 2
How to rework the power of distancing in our lives…
How to rework the distance into greater closeness…
The parodox itself will bring us closer
Its hard to call the 3 weeks a moed
How do we experience distancing as pleasure…
While culminating in full blown availus?
To paradoxically implementing dinei harchakos
Exemplifying all the ways H’s hides himself
for a greater gilui of H’s presence
in the very place of the distance
we search for the ratzah in the tzarah
no matter how challenging
the circumstance is
H’ is always there
and waiting to reveal him self
1. Ben Atzmo
appropriate to challenge and confront
intolerance, whatever shade of sina one may have with one self
you are a soul
knowing your soul
lofty place to practical
hiskarvus: as much as possible
there are times when we actually feel close
but other times closeness is generated from distance
How would we look at a scenario which would cause sina?
Ex. Someone has tremendous intellectual talent
a geek; he had alot of dislike
or incredible beauty
people couldn’t go beyond her physical beauty to see her spiritual beauty
not “why wasn’t I given this quality?”
shame> then blame
blame > shame
the internalization
shame is an expression of sinas chinam for ones self!
I feel badly about myself as a person
“I feel distant from my self”
3 weeks till tishabav
decrease the feel of body
this quality that caused you to feel badly about yourself
look at it!
and try to understand it!
challenge it
see what you’re aspiring
when you dig deep enough
you’ll find the ratzon
ie. attractive woman
I understand the beauty I was given
they think and expect I can do no wrong
her deepest yearning is for someone to know who she really is on the inside
can you control other people?
no
go beyond her own physical attraction
welcome it with ahavas chinam
the prompting from outside from other people
is a basis for us to appreciate who we truly are
so the world would get us for who we truly are
the beauty was a distraction
but was really an attraction
people could even give her benefits she doesn’t even deserve
maybe a trait you don’t relate to.
and has caused you to be distanced from your soul
use this time period to embrace it.
dig deeper
What do you really want?
deeper yearning for a positive expression
in a positive way
Dedicate as many of your good qualities
to see them more accurately.
we are discussing negative traits
H’ is in that also
to fulfill your divine ways
fundamental to higher expression of avodas H
and a higher expression in this world
2. Adam Ben Chaveiro
when we are not experiencing hiskallelus of souls in a symphony to express H’s Elokus
I like you because we are the same
we relate
or
you are so out there I have no clue what you’re talking about!
how you are relating to the Torah in this way…
Transform the disparity and distance to greater closeness
we say can “I be more open-minded to understand a different orientation to life”
· hearing it
· understanding it
· appreciating it
not “my orientation is the best!”
eliminate sina!
“i dont relate to you becuase we are not the same”
we need to be willing to confront the ways we distance our selves from each other
to come to value different orientations hashkafically
takes the element of distance
rework it into closeness
from the very place you were distanced
3. Ben HaMakom
this makes me exceptional
in a good way: I’m different from everybody
or negative
“H’ why did you give me such parents?’
H’ I’m angry with you. Its not fair. That creates distance between us and HKBH
Work it through until you serve H’ with a full heart
to embrace the distance without getting swallowed up by it
2 common reactions to distance:
1. numbing out, tuning out
2. hostile with others
the paraxox
embrace the distance
withdrow from the body, awaken the soul
anchor the hook
as your going down
don’t be a victim
going down
“My tatty is there”
pursuing …
I WANT to see you here!
here too you brought me to this place
your heart becomes softer
Here too
bringing out your divine identity
become more receptive
see behind the distance
what we ultimately want
rechuk and kiruv / (ratzo vshav)
not just tolerating and managing it
the tekufa and kedusha of this
is the reality of things that distance our selves
are all sina
we embrace with a soft heart
Mevaer/ open our eyes to see the closeness
why do we have to go thru this in 3 weeks?
the paradox of opposites
the more oppositional something is
the inner crux- is the revelation is Yichud H’
This isn’t to know there’s a G-d
But to know G-d is One!
The whole picture is
Waiting to be reinstructed down below
Enmeshment
fitting in a picture perfect way!
H’ says “I need you!”
underline the tzara
find the new ratzon
in the opposite form to reveal its higher expression
reveal His unity
thats the BAIS HAMIKDASH!
the bottom line is
can you be humble enough?
Are you bold enough
to get in these angst places?
and ultimatly deeper sense of emunah.
“I know you’re here Tatty”
That’s the new closeness
THE SINAS CHINAM
TRANSFORMS TO AHAVAS CHINAM
____
Q&A
We are looking in a way
very extreme you dont like this trait
or
I have it i dont know what to do with it
or
i seem to hurt people in the process
ie. I talk alot. and somehow people cant take it. I dont want to hurt anybody else.
i turn it inwards
and wish i didnt have this quality at all
within every point of distance.
Ive hurt alot of people
I only want to speak when I have something relevant to say
I feel so much closer to myself
Im speaking to bring out H’s purpose in the world.
Its about the koach of dibur
to connect other people with HKBH
reletive degrees of distance to closeness
its great to be close to H
but you cant be a recluse and distance yourself with others
accepting, loving and truthfull
you dont have to be married to distance
you can release the shechina
greater yearning to what your soul wants to create
you become closer
a continuum of distance
the whole world is for me
the trigger is a kli shelishi
get to the fire without getting burnt
the outside world endless things can ruffle feathers
i dont like social circles
distance being close
its adam v chaveiro
but what is my ben atzmo
connected to social circumstance
the further you go inwards it will always come back to you
sometimes He talks to you through difference
Dovid HaMelech through closeness or distance
I am always connected to you
all sorts of ways
tefillos
hisbodedus
chabura
hisnonenus
i do that all the time, so why is 3 weeks different
the ability to do that in specific is tied to your overall capacity
culminating in tisha bav
embrace distance
hold space
see it
worki it through
lift it up
your overall capacity
has to do how you shteig
to distance
latzmo
hamakon
youll see amazing things
its not pulling away
still connected
ask
if im being pushed away
the thing i want more than anything…
ie. woman in mid 40s
deep anxiety
lived in profound aloneness
every time in a relationship
she sabbotaged it with a pattern
at one hand youre seeking connection
choice point
do you want a relationship?
i have to tell you we got to the heart of the matter
im married to my aloneness, im committed to my aloneness
i sabotage my relationships
why
because if your married to the existential aloneness
the bais ha mikdash can not be rebuild
opposite!
the aloneness and distance was a yearning for closeness
she couldnt go there to strenthen her yearning enoght
we are only alone to the extent we feel for closeness
dig deeper
to existential Oneness with HKBH
If we can break the aloneness
the elevation is int he problem itself
to yearn for KHBH
levad > ayn od milvado
ALONE
ALL ONE
even in the feeling of being alone, hold the space for pain, because you
yearn to be so connected to someone, where does it come from?
profoundly
experienctially 3 weeks
more discunneccted with yourself
its a faulshood ive adopted
whatever the world convinced me of
underlying this is a deeper union wiht G-d
this is how we elevate this time
__
its createing greater closeness in distance
creating yichud H”
he give us the opportunity to create in the redemption
can do this impetuausly
can get swallowed up by it
come up with platitude why you cant do it
my summer starts after the 3 weeks
you miss the epicenter of yiddishkeit
the reality of galus
only temporary
waiting for us to flip the switch
question:
is there a piece of Torah to hold on to?
the whispering of the negaitve thoughts
the force is the soton confounding us
perhaps understand that H’ does good
message of the zuhama and the force itself
we are going after the whisperings of the YH
something to hold on to to be brave
key is to find core trigger work
say
ayn od milvado
elokus
shifts your mind
impurities
raash / noise
it may look real but its not real
problem
methodology
solution
ana H’ byom tzara
yud, bais, tzadi
Roshei teivos spell emunah
these 3 weeks
break glass and get out quick
snap out quickly
zuhama is a creation after the cheit
suggesting come up with something
to get you to higher lights
trapped, release him
the pathway to yichud H’
hiskallelus
the willingness to live with all aspects of our lives
depleting the arsenal of the YH and bring it to H’
to be mamaet / me-ut
to break
machnea
meshaber to diminish the koach of the ra
to awaken the kedusha
mechanics of 2 opposites
yechud H’ comes from 2 opposites
really Od
then ayn negate it ;
leaning back milvado (levad> milvado)
Baal shem tov
hisbadlus
hiskashrus connect
hiskallelus -gilui of yichud of H
arizul based on rashbi
tzara
ratza-inner yearning trapped ; existentional lonliness
hiskallelus / tzohar
general process to metaken
someone says hatzlacha raba
tzadi lamed ches
lachatz
chalitzah = expchange havdala
hamtaka: break through and gets revealed
every process ase or lo ase has this process
everything brings back to Yichud H
3 parts to bris mila
nisivos shalom:
not just tikkunk klali
tikkun prati: H’ made it tailor made for me
not personalize it
you gave it to me Tatti with a purpose
to rework in this 3 stage process how you really move through it
convert it to greater closeness
give testimony
distance is only made to reveal to your oneness
i fee special
reveal his one ness
not just coping
we have to be willing that duality is to reveal the oneness
with no exeptions
see the underlying truth
we dont want any more tzar
drug it
swept up and burn up
middle path
the path of emes
we can have that plces to reveal the divine presence
achdus
all different way to tackle to outside world to tackle inner world
Hamtaka: sweetness
hiskallelus
from tachlis, kalkala= Sweetness of the soul
If you are willing to dig deeper into this
the tzara transforms to the opposite thing I am in pain about
This is the sweetness for the soul
to upgrade aloneness > togetherness
shleimus.
Our soul yearns for it
Embrace the distance
Don’t take it PERSONALLY!
Reveal the real source of the divine unity in H’s world
—
Milvado = hamtaka
connect to Levad
Its the problem and the end game
How amazing!
36= levad= Leah
Its the pathway out of the problem
FEEL the yearning for togetherness
ENMESH yourself with reality
Build together in partnership
distancing your self
this time of year we may feel like we need a break
Gilui is in this tekufa
DISTANCE
Give it up to H-shem!
Repair relationships.
Its not a bunch of “No’s”
I cant have meat … I cant… i cant… I cant
No! Look at the positive pursuit!
greater closeness
thats the SHELEIMUS OF DVEIKUS!
QUESTION: What happens when others arent willing to work with you?
Or they don’t want it. Its too complicated.
Perhaps you can role model the right thing
Show kavod habris, Jews and none-Jews
show kavod
it could awaken them back to you.
this is a time to IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS
There are degrees of connection
TEACH it to them
if they are hostile to the concept
just be a shining example
don’t make excuses for your self for holding to your G-dliness
Be yourself in the fullest way (ie. example about shaking hands @ work)
stay true to your self
living with the Shechina
yes you may be makel, but we have to live a l’chatchila life
when in comes to the Shechina
Truly treat them with kavod
Show them kavod Shamayim
Act more lovingly
Make the relationship the best you can
be ready to go half-way to improve the relationship
say
I know youre an exquisite person!
Put responsibility on YOURSELF
I want to build a Bais Hamikdash
NOW
with the deepest committment
We mean business
Offer your self as a korban
this is the highest expression
Homework: Describe examples of Tzara > Ratzon
All in Tzohar- in the most kavanadik way
want it
live with it
all in it for you
may we see tremendous shefa
from this internalized view of H’
Bring yourself to the place where you
love all Jews the best way possible
Dont be distant from your self
a New Awakening
“Batul M’Vutal”
“Mekabel”